_Spectacular!

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_{make a map of what you see; direct pain effectively.}

A concept I had and wanted to share. Thank you!

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^{Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art}

_©iampoetry
ღ

_{You're welcome. :]}

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_{make a map of what you see; direct pain effectively.}

I usually read stuff out loud, and "mean ing less" struck me so much more read out loud than it did on the screen. Well done!

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"One of my first projects as the God of Literature would be to remove all the adjectives from say, Conrad's Heart of Darkness." - `AbCat

*Adopt-A-Writer | =DailyDeviants | `seniormentors | =Trashrock | *Writers-Workshop

Yeah I agree, when I read, it is out loud, it gives you more intimate connection with the piece and "mean ing less" really stuck out because of the caesura that comes there. Great job

--
~Take my hand and hold me close, Forever with you is my dose.~

i really like this one ash. and i love, "i feel untitled". maybe that should be the title of this poem?

yup, teenage'ish, that's why you're gonna have many kids loving this to death, and sooner or later(most likely) it'll get a DD
I really like it.

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_{Married to the pen,
and we're both having an affair
with the page.}

Yup, teenagish, for a teenage like me~~^^ But somehow I can sense the grown-up voice in it~~
Not much angst in this poem, like how nowadays the poems written by teenagers sounds like~~

i watch
a leaf fall solitary
alone as a reader in a library

My favourite phrase~~

--
A bitter-sweet panther who loves to drink 100 Plus

Not "teenagish", no. Except as the adult never outgrows the child. A seriously good poem. I love the paradoxical title, which fits in with the thread of ambivalence I detect running throughout the poem. It's as if the poem refuses to accept that reality sucks... the dissociation implied by the window is counteracted by the images of nature and the cycles of life; the anonymous flower is "at home", in its rightful place, in the garden, as is the reader in the library. So, perhaps the adult yearns for an adolescent carefree relationship, but there is a deeper knowing: that love is sustained by the "vitality of banality", that the poem is no less meaningful for want of a title.

That's just one thread, of course. I can't help feeling a bit unfulfilled, poetically, by the third line. Although the theme is taken up in the second half of the poem, I don't feel the connection is strong enough. I know I have a tendency to be heavy-handed, so I would have made some link between bed and upstairs... perhaps not appropriate altogether more subtle and graceful style. Here's a thought, though: you could rework the first three lines to frame the poem by moving the third towards the end, so the poem concludes:

"stairs to no where"
he said
"reality sucks"

(Here, I'd actually prefer "he says", but that would put a whole different slant on the poem!)

--
Believe me, you're better off not thinking about my poems.
I live on Free Rice.

"...not appropriate for your altogether more subtle..."

--
Believe me, you're better off not thinking about my poems.
I live on Free Rice.