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twisted sheets by ~IAmPoetry:iconIAmPoetry:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


I wait through a dreary morning;
waiting for your pressed hand
over my shoulder.

I don't expect you.

I wanted you to arrive;
for conversation and coffee.
I need to tell you how unhealthy I am,
how the only time I move is to go
to the bathroom.

I do not know how I refuse to shower.
It has become a custom, a culture,
a language, the art of resistance
since you've been absent.

I miss your errant smiles.  The way
you hold a penny in your left hand
when you write with your right.

I'm exhausted from lying in bed.
The house seems unfamiliar.
Used to be alive;
feeling a sensation I can
no longer describe.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconiampoetry:

Author's Comments

I feel like I've been writing crap lately...do you feel it too?

Comments


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:iconscarlettletters:
=Scarlettletters May 4, 2009, 5:14:03 PM
I miss your errant smiles. The way
you hold a penny in your left hand
when you write with your right.

Damn..I wish I had written that....

--
An Irishman has an abiding sense of tragedy that sustains him through temporary bouts of joy.
:iconiampoetry:
~IAmPoetry May 4, 2009, 5:15:11 PM
And I wish I wrote a lot of your stuff. Equal.

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
ღ
:iconthetaoofchaos:
*thetaoofchaos May 4, 2009, 5:31:54 PM
one woman's crap is another man's cache.

although the poem doesn't necessarily flow from from sentence to another (which is not always requirement for good poetry) it has integrity. it doesn't sound like you're trying to impress anyone fancy abstractions, but just trying to tell the truth in your own way. and that's something which i hold in higher esteem poetically than some stylized fabrication. so, keep it up. :)

--
The world is an eraser for these words


- Jack Kerouac


we must destroy that which contains us
:iconiampoetry:
~IAmPoetry May 4, 2009, 5:33:53 PM
I don't understand how you say it doesn't flow. Could you elaborate. Show me what you're talking about?

And thanks.

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
ღ
:iconiampoetry:
~IAmPoetry May 4, 2009, 5:36:29 PM
Oh, do you mean like rhythm and melody?

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
ღ
:iconthetaoofchaos:
*thetaoofchaos May 4, 2009, 5:52:58 PM
well, i wasn't trying to offer a critique. for some reason, i thought that was what you meant when you were talking about how you felt about it. what i meant was that it doesn't flow as much as perhaps some of your other pieces; flow as in verbally; as in some of the sentences seem to be rhythmically self contained. but it does flow in ideas, feelings, moments. i'm no critic so i respectfully decline to be more specific. my real point was that i like it for the reasons i stated.

--
The world is an eraser for these words


- Jack Kerouac


we must destroy that which contains us
:iconiampoetry:
~IAmPoetry May 4, 2009, 6:32:08 PM
Makes sense. It's hard to interpret what people mean over the internet.

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
ღ
:iconnightmarescometrue:
~NightMaresComeTrue May 4, 2009, 8:24:30 PM
No, I dont think you've been writing crap lately...It's what you been feeling, I assume and feelings arn't crap, the last time I checked with myself...

I love that everytime I read something from you I can always find bits and pieces, here and there, that I can connect with so strongly.

"I wait for you through a dreary morning;
waiting for your pressed hand
over my shoulder."

I miss him the second one of us leaves each other

"I dont expect you."

--
Perfection is not something you can strive for, it is something that you must be born with.
:iconiampoetry:
~IAmPoetry May 5, 2009, 4:08:26 AM
I am so glad that you can find anything, even just one word in my work for you pleasure.

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
ღ
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